Phoenix, AZ (Dis-Associated Press) January 07, 2008 — Phoenix, AZ KB Homes, America’s most progressive home builder, has unveiled a radical plan that not only cuts the cost of doing business but should increase sales to the growing “green” consumer market.
The plan involves the systematic replacement of KB’s traditional on-site sales offices with a new 21st Century design (see below).
Vice President of Sales, Bob Wantsmore, said “Hey, sales are waaaaaay down and we had to figure out a way to be profitable, so we cut corners…literally.”
The new design is smaller than a traditional sales center and costs almost nothing to operate.
“We have eliminated almost all petroleum based products and we are using post consumer cardboard and other recycled materials in the construction.”
“We have eliminated all “non-indigenous” plants…you know, anything that requires water. We’ve replaced the furnaces with passive solar heating systems (see green tarp) and replaced air conditioning with a cross ventilation open air cooling system. And all electrical lighting has been replaced with natural solar lighting, just like God intended it.”
“The concept is significantly cheaper to build and will appeal to all the Al “less is more” Gore, global warming, tree hugging liberals who are demanding “green” products. Heck, we don’t care who it appeals to as long as we get more sales and it improves our bottom line” said Wantsmore.
Lastly, in an unprecedented move to reduce its carbon footprint, KB has announced 50% pay cuts for the sales staff in order to promote biking to work.
“We figure if we pay them less, they’ll live cleaner. It’s definitely a win/win for us and the environment.”
“We believe our actions demonstrate KB’s commitment to being the industry leader in environmentally friendly housing” said Wantsmore. “It’s the right thing to do, plus………we’ll save soooooo much money!”
This blog was printed on recycled paper with soy ink
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